City of night, city of night

I like cities at night. I've never been able to work out if i like Edward Hopper because his pictures so effectively evoke late-night lonely city places, or if I like late-night lonely city places because they remind me of Hopper.

My girlfriend lives in the northern suburbs, which are very nice. Lots of middle-class apartment blocks, malls, and swanky bars. It is relatively safe, and the number of poor people is kept to a minimum. However, it is not safe enough that she is happy to get a taxi home by herself. That's wierd for me, because practically the only purpose of getting a taxi from my point of view is that it is safe, eg if you're a girl travelling alone, but of course Colombia is a foreign country, and they do things differently here.

So anyway, one day last week we went out for a beer, then I accompanied her home, and then made the 40 minute Transmilenio journey home.

In the north, the shining example of a great mass-transit system that is the Transmi blends in well, seeming rather ordinary and perhaps just a slightly cheapskate way to avoid getting taxis. However, as you head south, particularly at night, you begin to have the impression that you are being ported through a parallel Universe. Whilst you are cocooned in your speedy, comfortable 21st-century transport pod, the world outside begins to look more and more threatening and poor. The well-dressed people inside contrast heavily with the street-people outside, carrying plastic sacks of rubbish they have spent the day collecting, standing around burning piles of rubbish, or just sleeping on the street. The grimy prostitutes which line the shuttered shopfronts, lit by dim orange streetlamps, seem not to even be aware of the existence of the buses whooshing past.

I like cities at night. They seem exotic and interesting. That is, until you need to step out into them. Then they seem downright frightening.

For once I manage to post a recent photo (thanks, Pilar!)

This was me and Panda in Oma last week. Naturally, I have photoshopped out my grey hairs.

Humility

There's nothing quite like sitting in a room full of people who you know only slightly, and whose language you understand only partially, to give you a great life-lesson in humility.

When I am speaking Spanish one-on-one I sometimes appear to speak it quite well. This is because in one-on-one conversation a lot can be inferred from context. Try suddenly changing the subject on me and the chances are I will stare slack-jawed at you until I finally manage a "huh?" It is also because in one-on-one conversation I only have to understand a short burst of Spanish before I get to speak.

However, in a group setting, I quickly become very lost. Staying unlost requires a fair amount of concentration, and even then I usually laugh after everyone else, or look bewilderedly to my girlfriend for an explanation in toddler-speak.

Although I thought I was an introvert, it has been made clear to me that I just don't feel comfortable sitting in a group of people laughing and joking amongst themselves and not being able to make any kind of contribution. Panda astutely said to me, "I think what it is is that you like to be the centre of attention, and when you're not, you sulk." I think she put it more kindly, but in essence that appears to be true!

Whatever the level of my Spanish, it is manifest that I just can't stay au courant with the conversation without a lot of concentration, and mostly not even then. This means that I am always two steps behind. It's not where the ego would like to be. The ego would like to be one step ahead of everyone else, demonstrating its sharp wit and intelligence with a funny line here and an apt comparison there. And unfortunately I can't just cry, or run away. I have to persevere through a whole evening or day of being the slow one. It was hard to begin with, mostly because it never even occurred to me that it would be hard!

But really I think it is amazing for one to be subjected to this kind of ego-beating. Egos are stupid things anyway. And realising that you can go through the beating and come out the other side, that being something other than the centre of attention is really OK, is very valuable.